SEARCHLIGHT
What do you do when you are about to lose your temper?
SCRIPTURE
Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. Ecclesiastes 7:9 NLT
SPOTLIGHT
You can afford to lose some weight, but you cannot afford to lose your health. You can afford to lose some money in the stock market, but you cannot afford to lose your reputation. You can afford to lose some friends, but you cannot afford to lose your peace. You can afford to lose track of time, but you cannot afford to lose your purpose. You can afford to lose your home, but you cannot afford to lose your family. And never forget that you can afford to lose playing a game or lose your place in line, but you cannot afford to lose your temper.
The above Scripture focus clearly warns not to be quick tempered because that is the mark of a fool. If you allow yourself to lose it, you pay a high price. The few seconds of expressing your temper never does you any good. And most assuredly, it does other people no good. Don’t let anger be birthed in your heart. Never nurse a grudge like a fool would. “Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.” [Ecclesiastes 7:9 The Message]
People need to consider not just why they lose their temper but why they shouldn’t lose it. Two professional mothers, one a school administrator and the other a pediatrician and psychiatrist, asked 150 children who were between 9 to 12 years old to answer what they disliked most about their mother. Almost every child used the words “her screaming.” And dads do not get a clean pass. What benefit is it for a father to swear when something breaks? How do children learn how to face adversity when they hear their dad rant and rave over unpaid bills? Someone humorously commented, “Cheer up! Birds have bills too, but they keep on singing.” Parents need to sing instead of yell.
When you lose your temper, you stand to lose a lot more than you would ever imagine:
- You lose your ability to reason. An angry person never clearly thinks.
- You lose your satisfaction of doing things well. An angry person is never proud of anything he/she has done angrily.
- You lose your control to communicate. A talking, angry person usually says regretful things and later says, “I wish I had not said that”.
- You lose your capability of doing good and being kind. An angry person usually does many things for which he/she will have to apologize.
Just look back at your life. Can you recall a time when losing your temper ever paid you a dividend? Fury never pays. When your temper flies, you say goodbye to your dignity, composure, and the well-being of others. Proverbs 27:4 states “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming…” Someone put it this way, “The most inflammable wood in the world is the chip on a shoulder.” You never win by letting loose on someone. Exploding does not rectify anything.
Become wise while you are young or even in your old age. James 1:20 states “…human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” 1 Timothy 2:8 states “Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.”
Decide to say goodbye to rage. Colossians 3:8 states “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, …” Proverbs 22:24,25 state “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”
Desire to become like a sage. Be filled with the Holy Spirit’s power. Galatians 5:16 states “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” As you daily pray for God’s power, you will begin to see “the Fruit of the Spirit” characterize your personality as identified in Galatians 5:22,23 which states “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
It does not matter what angers you, but it does matter if you become angry. People can tick you off. Things can go wrong. Children can be exasperating. Bereavement can cause deep emotional pain. Injustice can stir internal turmoil. You do not want your heart to become the home of anger. If anger is tolerated or justified, you stand to lose big time.
Someone said that when you are right, you can afford to keep your temper. When you are wrong, you cannot afford to lose it.
SOMETHING TO DO
Try implementing the following steps to control your temper. They are drawn from the book entitled “When You Feel Like Screaming.”
- Anticipate potential problems at the beginning of your day. Try not to get caught off guard by planning ahead.
- Become flexible. Learn to adjust.
- Develop a sense of humor. See if there is anything funny about your situation?
- Strive to live a balanced life. Make time for yourself. Learn to say “No” to tasks that do not require immediate attention.
- Consider what upsets you the most. What can frustrate you?
SOUL TIME PRAYER
Heavenly Father, thank you that You never lose Your temper. Instead, You are loving, patient, kind, merciful, and forgiving. Make me more like You. Daily fill me with the Holy Spirit so that Your character will become my character. AMEN